Badgers, Snakes, and Insanity
by Sonic Bananas Are Cool
Summary: Everyone at Hogwarts seems normal, right? Sure, you have a whole bunch of unique people, but they all seem... You know, sane. Meet Priscilla and Viola, two completely crazy best friends who are gonna show to Hogwarts what exactly randomness is.
1. How We Met

Chapter 1 - How We Met (I Swear, How Do I Know These People?

This story starts, as do many, with two eleven year old girls, excitedly climbing onto a train and preparing themselves for possibly the greatest adventure of their lives. The black-haired, tall one was practically bouncing of the walls, while the brown-haired, short one tried to find an empty compartment to share with her excited friend.

The duo managed to eventually find an empty compartment and clambered inside, dragging their trunks and owls in behind them. "Can you believe it, Violin?" asked the black-haired one. "Hogwarts at last! Eleven years of listening to Ly, Levi, and Chance and now we're finally here!" she said, her excitement obvious through her fast talking. At this, Viola, with the odd nickname of Violin, came out of her daydream, which had taken a rather odd turn. She was obviously just as excited as her friend had been at the prospect of going to the famed wizarding school.

"So, what house do you think you're going to be in?" the other girl, named Priscilla, asked Viola, whose mouth was stuffed with chocolate bought from the trolley lady.

"I don't know, but probably in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw." Viola said smugly.

"Why do you think so?"

"Because my mother's side of the family has always been in Ravenclaw and my father's whole side has been in Gryffindor. But you know, I'll probably be in Ravenclaw, I won't fit in as a Gryffindor at all."

"Oh."

"Yeah. What about you? Expecting any particular house?"

"Um...probably Hufflepuff."

All of a sudden, Viola burst into laughter, and she wasn't showing any signs of stopping soon. "Really now? Hufflepuff? You're expecting Hufflepuff? Oh I feel sorry for you!" Viola managed to say while laughing hysterically.

Priscilla, however, didn't find it funny at all. "Yes, 'cause there is NOTHING wrong in being a Hufflepuff. My two twin brothers, Ly and Levi, are in Hufflepuff, and Chance, you know, my oldest brother, just so happens to be the first Gryffindor in my family for a century. Plus, Mum and Dad were both in Hufflepuff, so most likely, I will be in Hufflepuff."

"Priscilla Hawthorne, my friend, you are funny." Viola laughed again and Priscilla felt like crying.

"Yeah, yeah..." Priscilla muttered.

After a few minutes of giggling, Viola brought up something else, "It's so weird, isn't it, Prissy?" Viola asked, using her teasing nickname for her best friend. "We're finally going! It's like one of my rarer and more realistic daydreams," Viola said with a glint in her eye.

"You mean it didn't involve riding a unicorn over a rainbow with a rainbow cat beside you? That _is_ rare," said Priscilla, or, as she was known to Viola, Prissy.

"It is, isn't it?" said Viola, sinking back into her seat. "Oh, by the way Prissy, guess who else is coming to Hogwarts with us this year?" Viola asked.

"I dunno," replied Priscilla. "It couldn't _possibly_ be the countless other magical British eleven year olds, could it?" she said, a bit annoyed with the obviousness of the question.

"No, Prissy! I mean, yeah, sure they're going, but I was talking about two very specific people. Zacharias Smith and Draco Malfoy." Viola said, with a tone of awe in her voice.

Before Priscilla could reply, however, the compartment door opened and in stepped Zacharias Smith himself. After giving Viola a quick greeting, he plopped himself down next to Priscilla and they quickly began an intense conversation on Quidditch. Viola, who wasn't a huge fan, decided to take a quick nap. While she slept, all that she could think of were the parties where she had met her best friend (who was currently sitting right in front of her), Priscilla Hawthorne, and two of her other friends, Zacharias Smith and Draco Malfoy. Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy had always been fond of showing of their grandeur and at their extravagant parties, there were always very few children. In fact, there were always the same four children: Draco Malfoy, Zacharias Smith, Priscilla Hawthorne, and Viola Meliflua. The four ended up becoming close friends and their parties would often end in loud laughs or future inside jokes. Finally, she would be able to see all four of them every day. Smiling, Viola went to sleep, with Priscilla and Zacharias continuing their Quidditch conversation.

"-iolin! Violin!" Viola heard her friend call out.

"Mm...what?" Viola stretched and opened her eyes slowly, blinking a few times to get her focus.

"You slept quite a long time." Priscilla laughed, chewing something.

"Why...I have? If I did, are we there yet?" Viola asked, sitting up in her seat and looking around for Zacharias. "Where did Zach go?"

"We're not there yet but I think we're close," Priscilla said, looking out the window. "Zach went to a different compartment to meet one of his other friends. Want one?"

Viola looked at the jelly beans Priscilla held out. "Uh...is that what I think it is?"

"Maybe…" Priscilla said suspiciously. "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Be careful though, you can get a really bad flavor."

"I know, I know, just gimme one," Viola said, snatching the box and popping a random bean in.

Priscilla watched as Viola's face twisted up and Priscilla burst out laughing.

"DEAR MERLIN! WHAT AM I EATING?" Viola exclaimed, spitting the half-eaten bean out the window and drinking water like there was no tomorrow. Priscilla, however, was laughing so hard her stomach was starting to hurt and tears were streaming down her eyes.

"HAHAHA! Sorry, I had already eating all the good ones," Priscilla said, still giggling and smiling a goofy grin. "Shouldn't have done that."

Viola had a poker face on and gave Priscilla the silent treatment for fifty minutes. Priscilla kept giggling at her funny prank and tried not to make eye contact with Viola. Eventually, Viola gave up her silent treatment, rolled her eyes and chatted with Priscilla for the rest of the train ride.

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><p>AN: So, this story is a collab with me and my friend, ChibiTarynLuvsCookies. (By the way, I'd like to say that, in case it wasn't possible to figure it out, Ly, Levi, and Chance are Priscilla's three older borthers. Just saying)

Anyways, ChibiTaryn and I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review. What did you like, not like, anything! It makes us feel loved :)


	2. After the Train Ride and The Sorting Hat

A/N: To anybody and everybody who faved/alerted, thank you! To anybody and everybody who reviewed SUPER MEGA THANK YOU! Reviews fill the world with sparkles and cookies :D

Disclaimer (How could I forget to put this last chapter?): I am not J.K. Rowling, and I own nothing (except Priscilla, Viola, Lysander, Leviticuz, and Chancellor). And I'm pretty sure my co-author, ChibiTarynLuvsCookies, isn't J.K. Rowling either. If she is, she has a _lot_ of explaining to do.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: After the Train Ride (Draco Deserved To Be Whacked With My Chocolate) and the Sorting Hat (I'll Never Understand How Prissy's a Puff)<strong>

Eventually, the Hogwarts Express skidded to a stop and Viola and Priscilla stepped out of the train. They had earlier put their trunks and their owls, Moonbliss and Fukurou into the luggage compartment so all they had to carry were their wand and, in Viola's case, a giant chocolate bar she had managed to find. Viola was walking with Priscilla to the boats while talking about classes and houses when Priscilla suddenly stopped talking and started giggling. Viola, oblivious to the change in her friend, continued rambling when, all of a sudden, she felt something slightly heavy and wet on her head. Needless to say, Viola freaked out.

"AHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS? GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME! DEAR MERLIN, GET IT OFF MEEEEEEEEEE!" Viola screamed while Priscilla was laughing her head off. Eventually, Viola realized that the object on her head (a toad) was gone and was now in the hand of a smirking blonde.

"DRACO MALFOY, YOU PRAT!" Viola yelled while whacking Draco with her giant chocolate bar of doom. Draco started running as fast as his legs could carry him while Viola continued chasing him with her almighty chocolate bar, all while following Hagrid and the rest of the first-years down a steep, narrow path. When they finally rounded a corner, there was a loud chorus of "Oooooh"s and "Ahhhhh"s, and only then did Viola stop whacking Draco and Priscilla stopped laughing. Hogwarts was everything the first-years expected and more, and its grand turrets and towers made it seem like something from a fairy tale. The three of them managed to find a boat where they were joined by none other by Zacharias Smith. Once again, the conversation drifted to the topic of houses.

"Well, I'm definitely going to be in Hufflepuff. I happen to be a descendent of Helga Hufflepuff and there is no doubt that I will be in her house. Besides, Hufflepuff is just so awesome, I wouldn't go anywhere else." said Zacharias, looking extremely arrogant. While Priscilla was pleased that someone else agreed with her idea of Puff Power, Draco and Viola were staring at Zacharias as if he had grown another head and started to do the Macarena.

"I however, am normal," said Draco, "I'd leave if I was put in Hufflepuff. Plus, it's a Malfoy tradition to be in Slytherin. I'm pretty sure the Sorting Hat won't even have to think," he said.

Priscilla and Viola, however, didn't have time to add to the conversation because at that time, the boats landed at an underground harbor and everyone followed Hagrid once more through a passageway and up a flight of stone steps to a huge door. Hagrid raised a gigantic fist and knocked three times on the castle door. Instantly the door opened and the first-years were handed over to a stern-looking lady who, according to Hagrid, was named Professor McGonagall. McGonagall explained the system of houses and house points. Finally, she led all the first-years into the Great Hall.

The Sorting was about to begin.

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><p><strong>Priscilla's POV<strong>

If I said Hogwarts was what I expected, I'd be lying. It's so much better! Everything was amazing and I couldn't stop smiling (even if the boat ride did make me a little seasick). Thankfully, we landed before I could get too sick, and a strict lady (I think the gamekeeper said her name was Professor McGonagall?) welcomed us to Hogwarts and explained the rules. Finally, she led us into the Great Hall. At the very front was what looked like the staff table with Dumbledore sitting in the very middle. I couldn't believe that I was in the presence of one of the greatest wizards of all time! Sure, there were a bunch of other students too, but still! I was still in a bit of shock when Professor McGonagall brought in a little stool with a dirty and old-looking hat on it. So this is the famed Sorting Hat Ly and Levi were talking about? Shouldn't it be a bit… cleaner? However, at that point it started singing and I have to agree, it was pretty awesome.  
>Finally, the song finished (it wasn't that bad, actually) and McGonagall began calling up the students to be Sorted. Eventually, she got to the "H"s and it was finally my turn to be sorted.<p>

"Hawthorne, Priscilla." Professor McGonagall called out.

I froze and Violin pushed me up to the front. I looked back and she gave me a reassuring smile. I nervously walked up, sat on the stool and had the hat placed on my head.

"Hmm..." the Hat thought. "Loyal, kind, hardworking, and you don't mind putting in effort... you're a perfect...HUFFLEPUFF!" Finally, my Hufflepuff hopes had come true!

Smiling, I dashed toward the table on the right where my two older twin brothers, Lysander and Leviticus were waiting for me with arms wide open, cheering the loudest of everyone at the table. Grinning, I jumped into their arms and gave them both hugs. "Here's the princess! All hail Princess Priscilla!" they cheered.

I giggled and lightly slapped them both on their heads. "Oh, quit it." Ly, Levi, and I are ditto copies of my mum with black hair (mine was long-ish and straight while theirs was medium-ish and shaggy) and jade-green eyes. My even older brother, Chancellor (the only Gryffindor in my family), is practically a miniature of my father. He has brownish blonde shaggy hair, chestnut eyes, and looks nothing like the twins and I. If he weren't my brother, I would have to say, he would be 'The Guy' every girl would fall for. Same with my twin brothers. My whole family, in my opinion, is a good looking family. (Not that I'm vain or anything.) If you saw them, you would think they're super wizard stars.

At that point, I heard Draco's name called and watched as he swaggered forward to the stool.

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><p><strong>Viola's POV.<strong>  
>Huh. So Prissy really is a Hufflepuff. It was weird to see her go to the house of fluff and giggles and innocence because I happen to know for a fact that Prissy can be pure evil when she wants to. Still, what the Sorting Hat says goes. I was snapped out of deep thinking (which had somehow taken a turn toward ponies. Curse those ponies, popping up everywhere!) when McGonagall called for "Malfoy, Draco."<p>

"Good luck," I whispered as he confidently... Wait, no, that can't be right. He literally strutted. Merlin, help him.

Strutting aside, the Sorting Hat didn't even seem to think on where to put Draco. In fact, I don't think it even touched it head. "SLYTHERIN!" boomed the Hat and I grinned. Yay Draco for following family tradition! As I clapped for Draco, McGonagall called me up to the Sorting Hat. "Meliflua, Viola."

Oh noes.

I tried to keep calm as I stepped up to the stool and sat down. It wasn't as if this one little word would completely change my life, would it? Or it could, you know, either way, I'm not picky. My rambling thoughts kept me (relatively) calm as I finally had the Hat placed on my head.

"Hmmm... Not a bad mind," said a voice in my head. I really hope that was the Hat. I'm only eleven, I'm too young to go crazy! "For the love of Merlin," said the voice, sounding slightly annoyed, "calm down. It's hard to place you if your thoughts are racing a mile a minute," it said. I tried calming down and sure enough, the voice seemed to get less annoyed. "Let's see... Witty, with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Slightly eccentric, you'd fit well with the Ravenclaws. But there's also a nice bit of a love for making plans, having things your way, and a great desire to make yourself known. You'll fit perfectly with... SLYTHERIN!"

Smiling, I hopped off the stool and headed to the table second from the right, where Draco was sitting as well. I rushed over to where he was sitting, sat down next him, gave him a high-five and chatted with him about the classes until a hush fell over the Great Hall; Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was being Sorted.

When Harry got up to the stool, he took a long time to be Sorted and almost seemed to be whispering something like "Not Slytherin... Not Slytherin." Finally, the Sorting Hat sent him to "GRYFFINDOR!" and Harry received the loudest cheer of all.

"You know, I offered to be his friend," said Draco as we watched Harry run off to the Gryffindor house. "He refused in favor of that Weasel."

"Well, too bad for him. He missed out on a great friend," I replied.

"Really?"

"Nah, I'm kidding. You're a jerk,"

"I'm offended, Vi. Really," said Draco putting on a (rather fake and melodramatic) pained expression.

We laughed and joked with each other until the last member of our quartet, Zach, was called up to the Hat.

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><p><strong>Priscilla's POV (Again)<strong>

It was surprising to see Violin and Draco in the same house. I never knew she had a bit Slytherin in her, but she is a girl of secrets. Now, Zach's name was called and he casually walked up to the stool.

I couldn't tell what the Hat was saying to Zach, but whatever it said made Zach and break out into a full smile. "HUFFLEPUFF!" boomed the Hat. Then Zach got off the stool and made his way towards our table. As it was with my Sorting, people were cheering loudly. I smiled at Zach and waved him over. "Hey! Sit here."

Zach smiled and sat in front of us. Ly and Levi chuckled. "Decided to join us, ay mate?"

Zach rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Yup!"

In no time, it was time to eat and finally we got to go our common rooms and dorms. There were two prefects, Gabriel Truman and Renee Williams, who led us down to the Hufflepuff basement and showed us how to enter the common room by tapping a barrel. We girls followed Renee into the first year girls' dormitory, which was warm and comfortable, just like the rest of the common room. Plus, according to Ly and Levi, the Hufflepuff common room is near the kitchens! What more could I ask for?

Smiling, I sank into my bed and quickly fell asleep.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are cool. Every time someone leaves a review, a unicorn is saved from Quirrelmort. Please, think of the unicorns.**


	3. How the Time Passes

**A/N: Only one unicorn saved... Poor unicorns.**

**Anyways, Disclaimer!: Neither ChibiTarynLuvsCookies (who I shall from this point on refer to as ChibiTaryn) nor I are British genius billionaires, we're just typical FanFic writers who own nothing :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: How The Time Passes (Draco the Cannibal Chameleon)<strong>

**Priscilla's POV:**

"Hey! Cilla, wake up!" Someone's warm breath brushed past my ear. I turned around in my bed and felt someone pull my hair. I sat up straight and clutched my hair like it was a precious jewel. The girls surrounding my bed (otherwise known as my friends in Hufflepuff) giggled.

"Oh, come ooon...it's a weekend. WEEKEND!" I cried, slamming my head into the pillow. "You girls know perfectly well that I like to spend my Saturdays and Sundays sleeping in."

"Cilla, you are the biggest sleepy head I know." Leanne laughed. "Well, we'll leave you to your sleeping now. Meet you in the Common Room!"

And with that the girls left. I turned around so that my face was facing upwards. This is my 6th year at Hogwarts and I've been through so much. Oh, how time passes. I sighed and looked around. I'm the only one, I thought getting up. I fixed my bed and changed into warm clothes.

"Hey, Leanne, Susan, Hannah! What're you guys doing?" I asked as I neared them.

"We found a journal on the ground and thought that if we read some of the entries, we could get a clue to whose it may be." Susan explained.

"But so far, no such luck. All I can say this person sure is arrogant." Hannah said, sticking her tongue out. "Oh, you're in it too!"

I grabbed the journal gently from Hannah's hand and read the entry. I WAS in it. I'd know this handwriting anywhere. Zacharias...! "Oh, psh, I know who this belongs to."

"Really?" Leanne beamed. "Whose?"

I frowned. "Not sure if I can tell you..."

Before Leanne spoke, a rough laugh boomed from the Boys' Dorms and the four of us whipped our heads in that direction. Stepping out were Ernie, Justin, and Zacharias. Just seeing Zacharias made me really nervous. A few days ago someone had asked me a certain question that made me realize... My feelings for him. Now how am I going to give this to him?

"Hi Cilla!" The three boys smiled, using my nickname.

"Oh, hey guys. Um...Z-Zach...I, um, think th-this..." I trailed off turning red. Leanne nudged my elbow, laughing and mouthing the words 'Ooh la la.'

"What?" He snapped, rudely. Then he noticed the black journal in my hands. "Hey! What's that in your hands? Wait...is that...MY JOURNAL?"

"U-um...I was gonna give it to you...but um..." I nervously muttered.

He snatched his journal from my hands, giving my palms a slight burn. "Don't take things without asking first, Priscilla." He emphasized on my name.

"Hey! I told you, we found it here! If you don't want your damn things being read, then remember to take them with you!" then I put my finger to my chin. "Oh wait, I forgot. You don't have a brain. So how can YOU remember?" I didn't want to yell at him, but I couldn't help it; I can't stand it when people accuse me of something I didn't do.

Then I turned on my heels and walked out the Common Room to the library.

Once I was in the library, I went in the aisle where the books on Care of Magical Creatures were. I took out the one I was reading and sat down at a random table. I hid my face in the book and tears silently fell down my face.

_-Flashback-_

Leanne and I walked to the Common Room and as we did, we walked past Zach. I turned pink, then red. "Oy, Cilla, you like that knucklehead?" said Leanne teasingly.

Leanne laughed while I tried to hide my red face. "Wha…? N-no way! He's my best buddy! Serious!"

I looked at Leanne with hopeful eyes and she studied my face. "Fiiiine..."

Later on, I met with Violin in the library. "Hey, Violin, what would you say if I told you, I like Zach?"

Violin stared at me and then she broke out into a huge grin. "FINALLYYY!"

_-Back to Reality!-_

I buried my face further in the book and decided to hide in the aisle. I took my sleeve and wiped my face. I stood up, pushed in my chair, and headed for the aisle I came from.

**Viola's POV:**

"Vi. Hey, Vi. Vi. Hey, Vi. Vi. Hey, Vi," said a voice I'd grown familiar with over my past 5 years at Hogwarts. "Daphne Greengrass, for the love of all that is good and holy in the universe, SHUT UP!" I screamed, throwing my pillow at her and crawling deeper into the mass of fluff I called my bed and blankets.

"Come ooooooooonnn, whined Daphne. "It's Saturday, the weekend, don't you want to enjoy a little something called freedom?"

"As a matter of fact, Daph, yes I do," I replied. "And for me, this freedom was taken away just a few minutes ago by a certain dark-haired Slytherin. I'm sure you can guess who that is."

"Fine, Ms. Sleepy. I'll leave you to your 'freedom'. But let me just say this: I heard that someone managed to convince the house elves to sneak chocolate chips into the pancakes this morning, and I sure as hell will be too busy pigging out to save you any." And with that, Daph, the only bearable Slytherin girl in my year climbed up the stairs into the common room.

Okay, that caught my attention. "Hey Daph! Wait for me!" I yelled as I frantically changed into a washed up, changed, and quickly did my hair, making sure to draw curtains around my bed so nobody could see the mess it was in.

Finally, I managed to get to the Great Hall for breakfast, where I learned that, as usual, Daph had been joking.

"Again, Daph? Really?" I grumbled as I plopped myself down to Draco and Daph and started piling pancakes onto my plate.

"The chocolate chip thing again? One would think you'd know not to trust Daph about that anymore," said Draco, starting to laugh.

"Ish not funneh," I managed to say through my mouth full of pancakes. "Everyone knows I love chocolate chip pancakes but Daph here just keeps using it against me." Of course, my wonderfully, heartfelt speech had no effect on my two friends, who instead burst into loud laughter. "You guys are mean. These pancakes are all the friends I have left."

"Well then, I suppose that's why you're eating them," said Daph.

"Well obviously, what else do you do with your friends?" said Draco, his face completely serious.

"If I said that wasn't creepy, I'd be lying," replied Daph.

"Well, I'm just gonna go to Herbology before I get eaten by our cannibalistic friend here," I said, getting up from the table and carrying my books with me.

Draco grabbed his books and got up as well. "I'm coming too, can't let my prey get away."

"What and you two lovebirds are just going to leave me here?" Daph asked, slightly whining.

(I swear, Draco has the most perfect poker face.) "As a matter of fact, I was going to wait for you but I think you need to think over what you've just said," I stated, trying to put on the most innocent face I could manage (trust me, it's really, _really _bad).

Even though Draco and I both knew perfectly well how commonly Daph made comments about people and it was only a matter of time before one would be about each of us, we'd never expect it would be directed toward us. _Together._Needless to say, it was probably one of the awkwardest silences ever. I turned to Draco to say something to break the silence when I noticed the faintest tinge of pink on his cheeks. To most people, this would mean nothing at all, but pink on Draco was the same as tomato-red on normal people. A good friend would avoid commenting on this and try to make the situation less awkward. Obviously, as one of his best friends, I would try to make him as red as possible.

"What's this? Draco Malfoy's pink? So you do fancy someone don't you!"

One hue darker, I'm on the right track.

"Your darkening face tells me it's true. Hmmm... Let's play a game shall we? If I'm on the right track, you turn a darker color, alright? Sooo... This girl... Is she in a Slytherin?"

Draco's face darkened a bit.

"Ah, is she a Slytherin. Is she in our year?"

The pink was now dark enough to be noticed by anyone.

"Hmmm... Do I know her?"

Dear Merlin, I didn't know anyone could go from light pink to a very dark pink that fast.

"Wait! I think I know who it is!"

And now he's ghost white. What is he, a chameleon?

"It's Daphne, isn't it!

Draco suddenly stopped. Yes, I had figured out who he fancied! Unfortunately, my theory was destroyed when he gave me look that said "For the love of Merlin, get your head inspected" and burst into laughter. I started laughing too and by the time we calmed down, we were at the greenhouses. At that point, however, Daph stepped in and Draco and I started laughing once more. Daph gave us suspicious looks and settled for whispering a quiet "Ooh lala" under her breath.

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><p><strong>AN: DUN DUN DUUUUUN. **

**Yeah, I don't know why I did that. Maybe BECAUSE I CAN? **

**So, um, REVIEW! Or else Daphne will steal your chocolate-chip pancakes!**


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